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They Either Are or Are Not

Posted by Kenna in Relationships

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“They either are or are not.  In two or five years, they still will be.  Quit trying to change them.  They are what they are.  They either fit the picture you want or they don’t.  I’m not saying they can’t improve in area’s but you can’t make a sports car a mini-van or vice-versa.  You have to accept that sometimes, people are the way they are and no matter what you want them to be or how well you explain it to them, they will still remain the way they are or the way that makes them most comfortable.

The reason people have such a hard time finding “the one” is because of this very thing.

Have you ever visited a place for the first time and instantly fell in love with it?  Did it take effort to love it or did it just happen almost as if it was just sitting there waiting to be discovered by you?

Relationships work much the same way…on the front end.  I am not saying that work isn’t in store for you down the road because there will be lots of it.  The thing you have to ask yourself is, will you be going to “work” begrudgingly, or is it something you look forward to doing every day, even though you know it may be tough at times?

That is the difference.  That is the choice you have to make.  That is the essential ingredient you have to have to make it work years from now.

Great relationships…they all have this”

From Dad-isms.

Don’t Settle for Less Than the Best

Posted by Kenna in Relationships

I have told you my reasons for not moving in with someone before marriage and I know I probably sound old-fashioned and unrealistic.  I am telling you these things because I love you and don’t want to see you get hurt.  I know what you are thinking…its o.k…I would have thought the same thing at your age.  Let me tell you the gut level truth about males (that has nothing to do with Dad or God, this is about you):

If he isn’t talking about marrying you in the first three months, he really doesn’t want to.  That’s not to say he won’t marry you later, out of obligation or because he can’t find anything better, (he still may) but I will tell you it’s not because his life would be incomplete without you, his soul mate, in it.

When a guy lives with you without talk of the future (early), in his mind, the arrangement is one of convenience, shared finances, and commitment-less sex more than it is about making a trial run at marriage.  He can tell you he loves you and he may ‘feel’ it on some level, but when you are with your soul mate, believe me, you will feel like the priority you should be.

“But Dad..”.  “No, don’t but Dad me”.

Ask him a simple question:  “When do you see us getting married and having children?”

The talk of marriage and children should excite your future husband, not make him clam up and get angry .  If he were with his ‘dream girl’ do you think he would dawdle around waiting for ‘everything to be just right’ or would he take the bull by the horns?

There are no more, ”but Dad’s to say”…this is the truth sweetheart.  Because 85% of people getting married (and later divorced or in roommate marriages) know this in their heart and go against it doesn’t make it right.

Hesitation means you aren’t the one.  Getting visibly upset about the topic of marriage means you aren’t the one.

If he truly loved you, being with you everyday in a marriage would be greatest thing to happen in his life.  Why would anyone want to delay any moment of time when they know they have found ‘the one’?

The painful truth is your answer and the sooner you realize that the faster you can move on to someone who’s heart melts when you walk in the room (and believe me, you will know it) instead of a shared sexual and financial agreement that really is a month to month lease on a car they will probably never buy, but want to drive until a newer model comes out.

Don’t settle for less than the best and lower your standards when it comes to marriage.

I love you

From dad-isms.com

It doesn’t hurt to remember that “If a person has to talk themselves into liking you, they’ll probably talk themselves out of it years later.”